Saturday, December 05, 2009
Today marks the 2nd month that my aunt is not around.
They say time heals all wounds, but my cousin and I both agree that time doesn't heal anything.
I picked up a copy of Alana Stewart's "My Journey with Farrah" the other day.
I saw it in the bookshop and I told myself that this was the book I was looking for, after going through numerous ones on grieving for the loss of a loved one. I needed someone who went through the same journey that I did, who felt what I felt.
If you didn't already know, Farrah Fawcett, one of the original Charlie's Angels, passed away from Anal Cancer in June 2009 after battling it for over 2 years. Her ordeal were in many ways similar and yet different to my aunt's. Alana Stewart was one of her closest friends, who was by her side most of the time, who flew in and out of Germany for her treatment with Cancer. This book is exerpts from her diary from the time when she found out about Farrah's cancer until just before Farrah passed away.
This book is so therapeutic - I read it and cried at the same time and the tears just wouldn't stop. I can't imagine how much pain Cancer patients have to go through. It's just unbelievable. And the vomitting - it just doesn't stop. Their body degenerates so quickly that they can't move anymore, they have no energy to do anything that even breathing is a chore. They can't eat, they sleep most of the time, they can't do anything for themselves, and their body is full of so much medication that it's just inhuman. I can go on and on about how this disease is so dibilitating but I won't, because mere words just won't do it justice - you'd have to see or experience it first hand. It is just a slow, suffering, cruel, painful death where every day is a struggle.
So I decided to enrol myself into a Cancer volunteer program. There were admin positions available, as well as fund raising positions, but I wanted to get down and dirty and go straight to patient support. I would be assisting cancer patients in the hospital and providing them with a listening ear. This position is available for people who have lost a loved one to Cancer. However one of the criteria was that there is a 2 year minimum gap between the date of death and the day I volunteer. Which makes sense I guess, since they probably don't want me breaking down sobbing in front of the patients.
Maybe I should just pen a book like Alana Stewart's in honour of my aunt.
Yinny was Joshing around @ 7:04 PM
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