Some of you who know me well enough know that my aunt had been struggling with colorectal cancer for just over 2 years to date. Just 3 days ago she lost the battle with cancer so aggressive that it rendered her unable to move and sometimes speak. My aunt passed away on 5 Oct 2009 in SGH at around 6.30pm, leaving her husband, 2 sons, my mom and a whole lot of other people heartbroken.

My aunt shared a room with me as early as I can remember. In those days I was a naughty kid, running around making everyone miserable. But she still loved me with all her heart like she loved everyone.

My aunt is truly a unique character. I say 'is' because she is still alive in my heart. She is one of the brightest intellectuals that I know and will ever know. She was always the first in class every year, she pursued her education until she received her professorship, she worked stubbornly hard, played hard and fought unrelentlessly for everything that she wanted.

She excels in everything that she does and her interests are so far and aplently that anyone would be amazed - She truly is a Jack of all Trades and a Master of all of them. She enjoyed nature, gardening, painting, cooking, writing, travelling, classical music etc. If you take a look at her portfolio, it spans the length of the Great Wall of China and the depths of the sea. She did so much good work and research in her 20+ years in Singapore that in the words of her ex-colleague, 'her death is a loss to Singapore'. On top of being a hard-worker and outstanding colleague, she was a loving mom, wife, daughter, sister, aunt and grandaunt. She never held grudges and her graciousness and ability to forgive and love even the worst of humanity is something that still amazes me.

We could tell from the number of people who came to her wake in the last 2 days that she has touched the lives of so many blessed enough to be able to cross paths with her - even the cleaning lady from her workplace contributed towards the pool of monetary offerings that was handed to us during her wake. Her son explained to me that his mother would always buy food and distribute it to her colleagues and workers so that everyone, no matter who they were, would receive a share - she forgot no one. That is my aunt - someone who always gives the best to others and keeps the crap for herself.

There is so much more that I can say about my aunt because her attributes are endless. All these are memories that I will keep - thinking back, there are so many things that I remember about her which make me smile. She fought this terrible disease so hard that I would never, ever wish this on anyone. The pain and suffering that someone so fiercely independent like her felt, ripped my heart into pieces but all I could do was watch and feel helpless from the outside.

In her last days I was privileged to be one of the few people around to care for her and thus I got to spend a lot of time with her. We shared laughter and tears and the love we have for each other is so powerful that I don't know if I can ever live knowing that I will never see her lovely smile nor hear her speak to me ever again. I miss everything about her and my pain is so raw that it numbs me sometimes.

I've learnt so much from her and will continue to preserve the legacy that she has left. I am devastated to say the least but also joyful that my aunt is now in God's arms and enjoying what she so rightly deserves - a life with no pain, no suffering, no worries and burdens but one with abundant joy and happiness.

My cousin found me a verse that is so apt in our situation:

'God saw you getting tired and a cure was not to be. So He put His arms around you and whispered "come to me." With tearful eyes we watched you and saw you pass away. Although we love you dearly, we could not make you stay. A golden heart stopped beating, hardworking hands at rest. God broke our hearts to prove to us, He only takes the best.'

Until we meet again, my dearest EE, you will be dearly loved and missed by all of us.

Who can say for certain
Maybe you're still here
I feel you all around me
Your memory, so clear
Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
Can it be?
That you are my
Forever love
And you are watching over me from up above

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you're there
A breath away not far
To where you are

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn't faith believing
All power can't be seen
As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday
'Cause you are my
Forever love
Watching me from up above
And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you're there
A breath away not far
To where you are
I know you're there
A breath away not far
To where you are

~To Where You Are (Josh Groban)