Monday, April 28, 2008
I'm backing out now.
Please do not follow me.
..........................................................................
Ever get the feeling when you're so close to someone physically (I was talking about distance, in case some people's minds began wondering already...) yet so far from them in character, way of thinking etc. that no matter how much you guys try to force it, your brain signals will never be on the same frequency? When you guys talk, you have nothing in common other than work and when there is nothing else to talk about work, it gets awkward?
You have trouble even understanding each other's accent sometimes.
We will never be on the same page.
And that's just sad.
Yinny was Joshing around @ 7:36 PM
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Sunday, April 27, 2008
It's Monday again tomorrow. Where the heck did my weekend go?!
Monday. A whole week filled with new possibilities and more interaction with my classmates.
Can't wait!! I'm excited!! :)
I managed to dye my shoelaces and rug pink when I mixed everything in the washing machine. Sigh. Why do red fabrics dye so easily?! Now I have to bleach everything!! *frustrated look*
Had a good day today. A friend asked me out to lunch and I really enjoyed his company before church (can't say the same for him lol). Church was good today too - Music was extra awesome because we have a great band (and the hottest drummer - when I look at Mike drum, I think of Josh because both of them are amazing on the drums). I thought the message wasn't as substantial as previous ones but I know that God was speaking to me when Pastor Evans spoke about fellowship. I will have to get back to Him on that.
I really hate it when it comes to mid-semester/end-of-term. I have 5 friends. 2 of them are busy with school + work and moving house and parents. 1 of them is busy with her thesis and her bf. Another one has been MIA all week. Another one is busy with work and her own problems. That leaves me. That means more 'me time' I guess.
I have so many more thoughts that just can't be put to words. Maybe another time I will be more fluent. Have a good week everyone!! :)
Yinny was Joshing around @ 9:14 PM
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Saturday, April 26, 2008
The more I try to run away from it, the more it comes back to haunt me.
I deal with it everyday at college.
I talk about it with friends and colleagues in conversations.
I help others with their work.
I give preliminary advice to people who ask (bad choice).
I just want to stop for a minute and not want to have anything to do with law for a second.
Please?
Yinny was Joshing around @ 3:41 PM
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Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Sour cream and onion Pringles are sinful.
I just managed to pop half a can into my tummy in the short span of time I took to read my emails.
College has been good this week. We're being super slack this week (Friday is a public holiday) - out of the 4 days this week, 2.5 days were devoted to free time = do whatever you want a.k.a catch up on work = no allocated classes. I managed to use that time to make small talk with colleagues, have a laugh, get to know people that I had never spoken to in the past, bug other people who are slower in their progress than I am LOL etc.
I FINALLY got him to see me. Remember how before I asked how I can get someone to see me instead of looking right through me? And now he's even initiating conversation with me and having a laugh. I was pleasantly surprised. My plan succeeded LOL. Now, onto further devious plans *rubs hands together with glee*...:D
Busybusybusy this weekend. Road trip on Friday with my girlies and then yum cha with my gang from college on Saturday. Church on Sunday and then it's back to college on Mon. Wowee.
Have a good weekend everyone!! :)
Yinny was Joshing around @ 6:40 PM
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Sunday, April 20, 2008
Dear Lord,
Why is it that all around me people are hurting?
I don't want my loved ones to hurt anymore.
I want to help but they wouldn't let me in.
I'm not sure how to help also.
I just want to be there for them.
Lord please heal them.
Please mend their broken hearts and repair their confidences.
Please help them to believe again. Help them to be happy again.
What's the point of being happy when you are happy alone - it's no fun when you can't spread the joy.
I love the people around me and desperately want them to be happy.
In Jesus name I pray,
Amen
Yinny was Joshing around @ 10:43 PM
(0) comments I'm sorry
I'm sorry that I always say things without thinking.
I'm sorry that I always get defensive and then say things without thinking.
I shouldn't have said what I said and I'm sorry.
I know it's no use now because it's already been said but I can't do anything but apologize.
I'm sorry. I really am.
I knew you were going through a rough patch and I should have been more careful. But I wasn't.
And because of that you had to cop it. And I'm sorry.
I'm so, so, sorry.
Please accept my apology.
Yinny was Joshing around @ 8:28 PM
(0) comments A whirlwind of a week - I am so blessed
I'd like to thank my God for blessing me with an amazing family, an amazing group of friends and with an amazing life.
My parents and sister just left :( It has been a whirlwind of a graduation. Thanks to them who came all the way from Singapore, squashed up in my room just to attend the graduation.
I'd like to take this opportunity to thank all my good friends for coming down to take pictures with me and to give me their support. Thanks also for the lovely flowers, chocolates, bears, cards, cookies etc. that you guys gave me. I appreciate every single thing and every single gesture. You guys rock!! :)
I just have to name you guys who came - Thanks again to (in order of appearance):
1. Sylvia
2. Terry
3. Bryan
4. Cheryl C
5. Flora
6. Yi Ru
7. Joel
8. Kang Wei
9. Cassie
10. Yoke Mei
11. Tanya
12. Karen
13. Andrew
14. Thilini
15. Sangeetha
16. Thivanthi
17. Amy
Also to my fellow graduants (hey we made it without tripping onstage):
1. Rowena
2. Juin
3. Hong
4. Tiknee
5. Collin
6. Marina
7. Rachel
8. Josh
9. Jasmin
10. Pui Sze
11. Diane
12. Dianne
Thanks to the people who wished me and would have come if not for other commitments:
1. Cheryl S
2. Chloe T
3. Chloe L
4. Christopher
5. Anne
6. Juice
7. Michelle
8. Eunice
9. Geok Lin
10. Yang
11. Prasad
Last but not least, thanks to Christine who 'gowned' me :)
I hope I haven't missed anyone out...if I have...you can let me have it later LOL.
Anyways I'm very, very blessed to have a wonderful family and group of friends. I just heard about a friend of mine (whom I think is an awesome, awesome girl) - her parents couldn't afford to come down to see her graduate because they are so poor and all their money went into financing her studies. I felt so sorry that if I could I would have paid for her parents' tickets. Then I look at myself and see all these wonderful people around me. I couldn't be happier :)
My parents are amazing. They have given me everything that I could ever want and never shortchange me on anything.
I couldn't ask for more :)
Tomorrow is Monday. It's gonna be a long weekend for us because Friday is Anzac Day!! Yay!! Looking fwd to hanging out with the girlies. But first, looking fwd to going to college tomorrow :)
Yinny was Joshing around @ 10:57 AM
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Saturday, April 12, 2008
You know I really love my college and the people there. I really do.
But this week it was madness.
There was a lot of work to do - but that was still fine. I was FINE with that. I really was.
What I was NOT fine with was that they made us sit through bloody lectures and seminars full of boring shit Criminal Procedure.
Criminal law is very interesting. There are just billions of offences and ridiculous sounding charges you can get slapped with. Drugs, assault and misrepresentation don't even begin to skim the surface. BUT learning the procedural aspect of it is BORING SHIT. And it's made even worse when the person who is teaching it can't teach. Our poor group (I really feel sorry for each and every one of us) sat through 3 days so far of boring shit from this lecturer and we nearly died. If only I could capture all their expressions on camera when that dude was talking...I'd have a collage full of "I'm going to commit suicide now" pictures.
And guess what?
There are still 3 more days to go next week.
Oh Lord please save us now.
That's why I'm so bloody glad it's the weekend and I can get away from that boring shit for 2 days.
I like him as a person but there has got to be better lecturers than him!!!
...................................................................................................................................................................
Have to maximise my weekend. Many things to do before family comes.
Tomorrow Sangee is cooking dinner for us *YUM*.
~till next time!! Enjoy the weekend!!
ps: Hilariously funny video of ventriloquist (however you spell it) Jeff Durham and his dead terrorist Achmed!!!
Yinny was Joshing around @ 12:42 AM
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Friday, April 11, 2008
There's a party happening downstairs in my hostel common room and here I am sitting alone in my dark room.
Something's happening. I think I'm getting old.
All this loud music and loud chatter makes me claustrophobic.
I just want to hide and be alone and be antisocial.
I must be getting too old for this.
I prefer to just hang out with close friends and find somewhere quiet to chat.
.
. 15 mins later....
.
There are 12 people in my room at the moment. They are playing Mafia.
I thought it would just be the 4 of us.
Suddenly a whole crowd of people are here.
I feel claustrophobic again.
I withdrew.
I never used to be like that.
What's wrong?
.
.
.
Which reminds me of college on Tuesday. I had an anxiety attack. I felt physically sick when I had to cross-examine a witness in court. Of course it was only a trial run and the "witness" was my classmate and the "judge" was my consultant, but I still felt sick at the thought of standing up in front of my group and consultant and speaking with 12 pairs of eyes staring at me.
I asked for permission to leave then went home and cried.
How am I going to overcome this?
I've had so much encouragement and reassurance from classmates and friends but they can't understand. To them it's a small thing and it comes naturally - of course they won't think much of it.
The funny thing is, I never used to be like that.
Before I started uni I didn't have a problem doing presentations and speaking in front of many people.
Maybe for some reason I don't feel comfortable in my group.
Maybe it's because I don't feel competent because my group members are all so amazingly smart.
*sigh* Maybe I should start acting like a lawyer if I can't be one.
Yinny was Joshing around @ 7:27 PM
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Sunday, April 06, 2008
Went to Planetshakers church today.
I have been wanting to go for a loooonnggg time coming.
Thanks to Andrew for driving!
The speaker was funny and very good. She was a guest from Hillsong.
She touched on issues close to my heart.
I admire her strength and her passion and her ability to make things come across simply.
Pastors are the most important to me when I go to church. They need to be able to send me a message.
Today's message was about unconditional love for God and Jesus and the need to love them with our whole hearts.
That love is not about obligation.
That love is about passion and it comes from within.
That I am Christian and not a "need to be" Christian.
The music was awesome. It was like being at a rock concert.
The auditorium was new and had 3 levels.
I'm going again next week. Hopefully this will be the church for me.
__________________________________________________
Tomorrow is the 6th week at college. Can't wait!! Time flies.
Yinny was Joshing around @ 6:57 PM
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Friday, April 04, 2008
It's Friday!!! WOOOHOOO!!!
As much as I love my friends and will miss seeing them over the weekend, I still appreciate my time off when I don't have to dress in working clothes and shoes and when I can do what I like whenever I like.
Moreover, this weekend is daylight saving weekend!! A whole extra hour to sleep!! WOOHOO!!!
This week just flew by without me knowing. We were so busy it wasn't even funny. Everyone was quite highly strung. And it's only the 5th week.
Today, 2 people (a lawyer and a bakery manager) asked me where I was from. When I said Singapore, both of them had very pleasant things to say about her. I was so proud :)
Mr.Hot made me smile all day today. How can someone so cute be so unaware of his own cuteness?! That just makes him even cuter LOL.
As much as I can't do anything but complain, Melbourne's public transport really stinks. You can't rely on it one bit. I've been taking different trains every morning this week because they either get delayed or cancelled. Sometimes the bus drivers go on strike. Someone should do something about it!!
I'm looking forward to Monday cuz someone in the office is having her birthday and we're surprising her!! :D Till later, peeps!!!
Yinny was Joshing around @ 3:16 PM
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Thursday, April 03, 2008
I am very blessed.
Just as I thought that I was doing so much for people and that people didn't seem to appreciate me, I got a WHOLE lot of lovin' these past couple of days and I couldn't stop them. They just kept coming at me!!
The people at the office are always uber nice - that's no exception.
Joel was chatting to me about God and my church-going concerns and he assured me that he has been through the same thing. I always appreciate it when people talk to me about God. Even though I just met Joel, I feel a sense of familiarity with him. He's very smart and down-to-earth. I respect him a whole lot.
Syl called me up yesterday because she was concerned about how I was going to get home from the city in the storm (we've been having crappy weather lately).
Amy called me up and offered to drive me home from the train station because of the crappy weather and crappy public transport that came with it.
Juin surprised me with a chocolate bar when he's so damn frugal he doesn't waste a cent - he will walk far just to save a buck. He and Amy were so sympathetic when I was complaining about my work. They just allowed me to unleash it on them because they knew I needed an outlet. He dragged me into an empty classroom and said, "GO" and my frustrations for the day came pouring out, creating a flood around us. Juin has been an uber good friend - I always appreciate it when I find a good guy friend whom I can talk to like a girl friend and there are no strings attached. You know you'll be good buddies and there will be no other feelings than that which will complicate matters. That is a really comfortable feeling. It's so rare to find guys whom you can clique with like that.
Geok Lin bought me dinner because I told him I was so tired I was going to go home and sleep without having dinner cuz I was too lazy to cook.
Antonio (Mr.All-the-girls-love-him-cuz-he's-so-cute-and-nice-and-smart) was so damn nice about helping me with my work even when we just got to know each other today. He knew my name without me even introducing myself - I always appreciate it when the locals can remember my name.
Diane rocks my socks because she's always reminding me about stuff and she always helps me out whenever she can. I'm so glad I have her to rely on. She's my best buddy in class and has got to be the coolest person I know. Ok I forgive you now LOL.
MaJi, Clara, Xi, Hong, Heang, Guo Dong, Jacinth, Jasmin, Sharon, Melissa & Liz are the sweetest people ever. They are so nice that it's unbelievable they are going to be lawyers soon. When people think of lawyers they think of cut-throat, lying, cheating, money-grabbing people and these people are totally the opposite.
Rachel's like a mummy. She's always calm and collected and very reassuring. And she gives AWESOME hugs :)
Christian always does and says the stupidest (yet funniest) things but things just won't be the same without him. He brings so much life and laughter to the office. And horrible impromptu singing. eek. He looks cool and macho on the outside but on the inside he's just a darling.
John is sweet like a teddy bear. He overheard me asking Diane something which she also didn't know the answer to, and then he turned to me and asked me to ask him because maybe he would be able to help. He's like the peacemaker in the office. Slow and steady wins the race buddy LOL.
Mr. Hot just gets cuter by the day. We talk more often now. He is uber shy. It's ok, I don't mind taking the initiative LOL.
Therefore, I was tired and stressed but so very happy.
Just as I thought the day couldn't be any better, Amy came along for a chat and bought me a chick-flick (my fave kindda show) and my fave bubble tea. Yum.
How could I ask for more?...
Josh is releasing his latest concert (the one I went for) DVD on the 6th May. I just managed to pre-order the special limited internet-edition *bursts with excitement*.
My family is coming in 2 weeks.
In 2 weeks I will be wearing that gown and cap that I've been working for for 5 years.
In 2 weeks I will be receiving my 2nd degree.
In 2 weeks I will be graduating with my friends around me.
Sheer happiness.
I miss Monash.
But I think that...I'm happier where I am at the moment.
God works in wondrous ways :)
And for all that and more...I am thankful :D
Yinny was Joshing around @ 8:50 PM
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Wednesday, April 02, 2008
I was on cloud nine today.
*beams*
I love college.
Oops have I already said that before?
*grins* :D
Yinny was Joshing around @ 5:39 PM
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Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Last Sunday was a blast!! We watched The Spiderwick Chronicles. I quite enjoyed it but it was really a show targetted at kids. I still love Freddie Highmore :)
We also went to TGI Fridays!! We love that place but it's expensive. This is what we had:
Looks yummy eh?
We even had a complimentary dessert because the waiter screwed up our order.
Classes have been going well so far. It's getting busier and busier but not harder.
We've been going to the Family Court for the past 2 days for divorce and child-related hearings.
Mr.Hot sat next to me and was extremely happy until Diane made me give my seat up to someone else and dragged me over to the corner to stand. Hmph. I whinged about it all day!! YES I will never forgive you!!
The cases were interesting. You get people who are distressed and upset yet at the same time you also get those who are relieved and happy that it's all over.
Family law is extremely challenging because it encompasses such a wide spectrum of law. It can get emotional but then again it trains you to be objective - I believe it's an area of law that is extremely satisfying, and my consultants have confirmed that.
I looked at my train ticket and realised that it's been a month since I started at college. How did time fly that fast? I only have another 5 months to go and I'm done. When I first started it I was dying for it to end. And now I'm trying to stall for time?? I'm going to be uber sad when I leave because of all the amazingly awesome people I've met. I'm truly going to cherish every bit of my time there.
A question that's been on my mind for awhile now:
How to you get someone to see you? I mean...really see you and not treat you as if you are invisible?
Quote of the week (stolen from Rachel's blog): A woman’s heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first in order to find her
Yinny was Joshing around @ 5:20 PM
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