It's through these tough times that I learn to appreciate every single person in my life.2 more papers to go and I'm falling. I don't have stamina for 4 papers in 5 days. I'm old. I'm tired.I'm comforted by the fact that people around me are studying - well some at least. I look out of my window and see my hostel mates mugging in the common room. And Cheryl is up in the next building being little Confucius (err how to spell) *lol*.I am feeling crazy homesick at the moment. All I want to do is to hug my mommy - I miss her like crazy. Can't wait to go home - 4 more days wooohoo!!!Nothing beats the comfort of being in your mommy's arms cuz then you know everything will be ok and she will protect you. All your fears melt away and you can count on her to always be there for you. My mom is perfect in my eyes. And the best thing is - no matter what you do wrong and no matter how much of a failer you are or how bad a person you are, your parents will always forgive and love you unconditionally. And I'm so grateful for that. This is something I learnt whilst growing up and moving overseas. God has blessed me with such a wonderful family. :)I miss barging into my brother's room and sitting on his bed and refusing to leave until he engages in a proper conversation with me. The last time I remember I had a proper conversation with him was during Chinese New Year when he was helping me peel apples for apple crumble. I miss it. My brother is such an incredibly intelligent and well-rounded young man that I find talking to him sometimes is intimidating - but I learn a lot from him - be it about music or sports or just general knowledge.Same goes for my sister. Despite the 6 year age gap (which is not obvious by the way), she can tell me anything from dresses to the French Revolution and we can talk about anything under the sun. I love sharing a room with her (despite her mess) cuz she's hilariously funny.
My Pa is one of the funniest people I know. He always "zui ying xin ruan" = direct translation: mouth hard, heart soft. He will scold you and everything but he will still do anything for you as long as you ask. My dad is also one of the most intelligent people I know.
My 4th aunt who is sick at the moment - I'm missing her lots too. She's also one of the most intelligent people I know and always perfect in my eyes. She's been a 2nd mom to me since I was born & dotes on me like a daughter. She gives all of herself to her job and family and asks for nothing in return. She's always looking out for my interests and giving me advice. For that, I am grateful :)
Sometimes I wonder how in the world did I manage to spend 6 years away from home. Other times I reckon being away from home for awhile is a good idea. *sigh* You can never please me.
These times I count on God to get me through. He's always been there for me even when I grew apart from Him - even when I forgot about Him, He didn't forget about me. Whenever I need Him, He will be there to shelter me. I can feel that He exists because amdist the craziness I feel calm. And I'm so grateful for that. :)
I can never discount the fact that my friends have always been a great source of support and strength for me, despite the fact that sometimes it may not be reciprocal. They feed me when I'm hungry (Thil, Sangee), give me lifts everywhere when I don't own a car (Amy, Thil, Terry, Syl), listen to me when I complain (like everyone LOL), give me great advice (Juice, Amy, Yuanny, Peg), help me out in my school work (Bryan, Flora, Karen), fixing my computer (Terry), stay up late and burn the midnight oil with me (Cheryl) and have always looked out for my interests (everyone). So I want to say thanks so much you guys :) I'm so grateful for you.
So what did I do to deserve all these amazing people in my life? I have no clue.
Yin is counting her blessings. And feeling so loved.
My cup is not half empty. Nor is it half full. My cup runneth over~the Bible, Psalms 23:5
When I feel like giving up, I remember what Josh said in his interview once:
Because I know that life is a journey I must accept and that pain and confusion are temporary. I know that if I follow my heart, it will lead me where I belong. ~Josh :)
And I know that I will make it through the rain, just like he did once :)
