burnout
It's funny. I screwed up my bedtime by getting 4 hrs sleep for the past few days. My bedtime would be 6am and I would be forced to wake up at 10am. Someone would either call me or some noise would wake me up. And this has been going on without fail for the past 5 days or so. Now that my bedtime is screwed I want to sleep now (2am) but I'm wide awake. Dammit.People around me are starting to burn out. I can feel it. I see it. I hear about it. People are stressed, tired, angry and even a little resentful. I went to uni yesterday and already 3 people were telling me that exams are coming and asked me to form a study group with them. I'm just wondering...since when did people start getting so stressed this early?? We used to only start getting stressed in week 11...now it's only week 7...people are a whole month early this semester!! What's wrong???I took a day off today. I shouldn't have but I did. And I know I may regret it but I feel oddly calm so I may not. Assignment due on Monday but I feel like I don't care. What's wrong???Emotions have been running high these 2 weeks. I was just telling Syl that I felt frustrated. Frustrated because no matter what I do I am being criticized. I already have a very critical family (extended included). I don't need it from other people. I feel like everything I say and do is just wrong. Somehow or other, people will ask me to keep quiet, or not say that, or say something else, or ask me why I said that. It makes me feel like a bad person, and then I begin to doubt myself. And I hate that feeling. It's really frustrating. I don't want to be someone I'm not. But somehow sometimes I have to pretend I'm someone else for other people's sake. It's very tiring. I just want to be myself. Who can accept me for myself?Maybe I am really a mean person. Then why bother being my friend? Just leave me alone.Sing me to sleep Josh. You're all I have now.
Yinny was Joshing around @ 12:04 AM
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