Little Toy Ships v2

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

re-evaluation

Re-evaluation - I don't know what to think anymore

Been struggling with my essay for the past few days. Totally regret not doing it earlier. I was putting it off as usual – hey, procrastination is my middle name. Too bad “I-told-you- so” is also my first name. Now I totally am going to D-I-E. Only 6 more days to write at least 2000 more words. I can make it through the rain. Damnit.

I look back and still can’t understand how time can pass so quickly.

Blink. Week 4. Blink Week 7. Blink. Easter hols.Blink Week 8. Shite. Blink.Assignments due.Blink.Tests.Blink.Exams.Blink.HOLS AGAIN!!! Can’t wait.

Was doing some reflections the other day. I realize whenever I do reflections, I feel lost. I feel so lost sometimes I get terrified. I fear for everything. What am I going to do if I fail a unit? What am I going to do if I can’t get my honours? What am I going to do if I can’t go back to Singapore? What if I can’t find a job? If I get a job, how am I going to do that same job for the next 35 years (or so) of my life? What if I don’t know anything? How am I going to help people? What if and how. Shite. Then I start having a panic attack. *sigh* This is stressful. I can’t handle it.

Everyday I wake up and wish that my life was different. It’s not that I’m taking my current life for granted. It’s just that…I wish that I was someone else, doing something else for a change. It’s inexplicable.

Thank God my God is there for me. He will see me through no matter what.

~For the first time in a long time, she bowed her head to pray. She said, “I’m sorry for the way I’ve been living my life. I know I’ve got to change. So from now on tonight…Jesus, take the wheel. Take it from my hands. Cuz I can’t do this on my own. I’m letting go. So give me one more chance. Save me from this road I’m on. Jesus, take the wheel."
~Jesus take the wheel (Carrie Underwood)

Yinny was Joshing around @ 12:52 AM

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